MMTF, I am Sorry.

An apology letter from the bottom of my heart

21 Sep 2021

Written by a 3rd class doubtful citizen - Nutella

To my dearest competent Ministers and DMS,

As a 3rd class citizen, first I would like to express my gratitude for the following:

- for keeping me safe from the infected vaccinated individuals by stopping me from going to gym and concerts, and the inability to dine in while allowing young unvaccinated children to be able to dine in since they are stronger than myself

- for bringing in foreign talents whom are infected since last year because we really do need them urgently

- for bringing in other vaccines and not putting them under the National Vaccination Programme because they aren't from US and thus can't be trusted as much and making the anti-MRNA pay for it. 

- for assuring me that the vaccines are so safe and it will always be my underlying medical conditions that are at fault, should anything happen to me after the shot, so my family can be at peace that our govt is always right and good.

Thank you most importantly for shifting the goalpost all the time so we always have something to look forward to.

Next I would like to extend my most sincere A to Z apology to all four of you and the expert committee. 

I am so sorry that .... 

(A) I question if the vaccine is safe. I should have just followed the science that says it's safe and take the shot. And if anyone comes to me and shares with me their personal severe symptoms experience or that someone they knew died after the shot, I should have stood firm and responded with, "DO NOT QUESTION THE VACCINE AND THE SCIENCE.

(B) I refuse to be brainwashed by the commercials you are pushing out. I should have just believe PCK, Wang Lei and many other celebrities that it is safe and we should all go for it. Having ACTORS endorse a vaccine that should never be questioned or doubted, I should have known this beforehand, since they grew up in a BOX together with me. They have played good guys and bad guys before in their roles. 

I know me being unsure of what role they play in the commercial is dumb. I should always assume they are playing the good advocates.

(C) I believe FDA. I should have trusted you and not FDA. Them revealing that they knew about myocarditis and other side effects in October 2020, is definitely untrue. I should only believe in our expert committee and of course, our MMTF. And right now, them saying the vaccine probably killed two individuals in order to save one life, is probably untrue also. 

We should only trust them when it comes to their EUA approval of vaccines. 

(D) I feel like I deserve a little bit of human rights since I follow the law and SMM guidelines too strictly. I wear my mask, kept my social distancing, didn't talk on public transport and I shouldn't be questioning why my freedom and rights are slowly being taken and stripped from me. I should place my faith in you alone. 

And in the name of public health, I should accept it even if you decide to lock me up one day for getting infected by the vaccinated. 

(E) I got labelled as an anti-vaxer. I should have accepted that this new label is just a label that is for anyone who questions the covid-vaccine and not any other vaccine. I took the other vaccines. I know you want us to stop cyberbullying and name-calling or even racial remarks. But it's tough, you know? It's easier to get the victims of being bullied to accept it. 

Don't worry, give me some time and I will be able to accept this label on me as part of the new norm. 

(F) I kept my eyes focused on the wrong nations. I shouldn't wonder why the MMTF isn't taking reference from nations with low vaccination rates and low cases but take reference from nations with high vaccination rates and high case counts. I am ashamed that I didn't understand how science and numbers work, and that we should always look at countries worse off than us, so that we can feel good about ourselves despite the increasing number of infections. 

(G) that I start to diss Straits Times for their reports. Though I know they are just trying to brainwash me with words and smart propaganda, I struggle too much to accept that this is the new norm going forward. I seek your forgiveness on this. 

I should also accept that journalism no longer mean finding the truth, and being the voice of the victims/ injured parties and the oppressed. The new norm should be quoting experts' opinions once every 2 days, and also sometimes pushing out counter arguments in order to cover own asses should anything decide to U-turn and turn on our Covid strategy. 

Also, I understand that ST might be trying to aim for the 159th position in World Press Freedom Index 2021 (currently 160th). Aiya but I think me accepting the fact that journalism is dead, may not help you in climbing up. I am so sorry that I feel so lost, not sure if it's my fault or your writers' fault or your management' fault. 对不起。

(H) that I question the benefits outweigh the risks marketing tagline. I should never ask why smoking isn't banned in Singapore, and bubble gum is. I should never question why you allow smokers to buy the cigarettes that have labels "Smoking harms your family" and "Smoking causes lung cancer" on their packaging. 

And of course, I should not have questioned whether it is worth having a bunch of possible severe side effects & Death in replacement of long covid and Death too. 

(I) that I question herd immunity long ago before you told us it's not achievable anymore. I should have believed you and the science, and not stuff about ADE, Vaccine Escape, and many other conspiracies theories spoken by the inventor of PCR, MRNA and frontline doctors with years of practice. It's them who caused our herd immunity to be unachievable. Bad people

(J) that I trusted my friends. When they shared with me that they become human magnets, I should have chosen to not believe my eyes. I should believe what the media said, they are fake, it's because of their sweat. Even if they wipe clean their arms, I should not believe them still, and should probably unfriend them too. Their new found talent speaks against our official FACTCHECKERS and none should believe them. They are the REAL FALSEhoods.

(K) that I am superficial. I shouldn't trust my eyes. I should accept that an unvaccinated individual with healthy lifestyle choices, is a risk to society; a vaccinated individual with unhealthy lifestyle choices, is not risky to have around us. 

Also a vaccinated paedophile/ criminal is better and safer to have as a diner beside us than someone unvaccinated with a clean record.

(L) that I ask about the history of Pfizer being fined for fraud and bribery. They are our saviour in our pandemic and their history of lying should not be questioned. We should continue to queue up and take booster shots, as many as they want us to take. 

Also since it's "free" and I am paying for it anyway (whether I take it or not). 

(M) that I am not taking up your ICU beds, or oxygen supplementation. I should not be trusting my immune system despite some experts saying that natural immunity wins the vaccine stimulated antibodies hands down. I know we should be taking the jab, and then see how our immunity system reacts and produces antibodies. And then catching the virus again and testing our natural immunity again to see if the vaccine works. For those who do not mount antibodies after the 2 shots, it's their immunity system problem. 

I know, vaccine is the best, and thus should never ever be questioned. 

(N) that I ask about PCR cycles and also desired antibodies level to be considered protected. I know I do not have data from your team, and still, I should just display blind faith in all four of you and your expert committee. Science says it's not necessary to test for antibodies level before and after shot. Just jab. And then carry on with your life. I can accept that actually. 

Lesser logical questions to ask for me, lesser headaches. 

Lesser neural connections to make within my mind. 

(O) that I ask why vaccine causes myocarditis and also affects the period of women. Science and data say it's safe, and anything that happens are rare events. Those people who mentioned they wanna invest huge sum of money to investigate the relationship between the covid vaccine and menses are just wasting their time and money, because our MMTF and HSA say it's safe. Aiya, let them do what they want lah. 

These scientists and researchers aren't as smart as our expert committee anyway. 

(P) that I ask why there are contaminants in the Japan's Pfizer and Moderna vaccines. I am sure Japan is lying cause Pfizer and Moderna wouldn't harm us and secretly put Graphene Oxide (GO) in them right? Surely it's them trying to tarnish the reputation of these 2 saviours of our era. They must have a secret agenda to push out their own vaccines to be the covid vaccine market leader. 

(Q) that I am producing variants into our community, as claimed by some media outlets that we unvaccinated are the variant factory. I am real sorry that we didn't create variants for you the whole of last year (2020) but took so long to only create it after vaccinations begin worldwide. 不好意思,让你们等这么久

(R) that I am not filling up the A&E or the ICU wards but allowing the other vaccinated individuals to take my place. I am really sorry that the ICU ward staff are not overwhelmed but your frontline A&E staff as well as your contact tracers are overwhelmed. We already stayed home as much as we can, and skipped dining in. I guess perhaps the only solution we have left to help you is to not breathe or fart at all, since we are probably the ones passing it around (being the variant factory). 

I also apologise that I am not getting infected despite being the variant factory but your vaccinated clinical trial participants are. 

(S) that your experts aren't real experts. I know and bet that they are legit good (also not from RI according to Minister Vivian) and not certified experts with fake certificates. I bet they have years of experience in dealing with infectious diseases, or at least read enough scientific journals. When one of them said we thought we knew alot last year about Covid, then we realized we were all wrong, I guess that's not UNEXPECTED too. Since experts are able to foresee and predict what is to come or may happen, I should not question why we aren't out of our current predicament even with the help of their foresight. I should have faith in them. 

When ST article mentioned studies by experts from 2 countries came up with different analysis about Covid and the viral load in both infected vaccinated/unvaccinated people, I came to a conclusion that I should never trust them. I should wait for our experts committee as they do not perform any research and only read what other "scientific" sources/journals/articles tell them. Since they didn't do the research, they will not go wrong, therefore trustworthy. 

(T) that I got banned by Calvin Cheng. He's definitely a genius when it comes to politics and covid strategies. Any form of questions that may embarrass him should be deleted, removed and blocked like mine. A genius should never be questioned, though he should be able to respond to all questions/comments wisely using his wit. I just assume he blocked me because he pressed wrongly twice, not because of a lack of a witty response. 

Now that I am blocked, I apologise that I will never be able to share his wise posts with my social circle and help push our national vaccination drive. I have failed as a responsible Singaporean. I should stand together with CC, Tommy Koh, Salma Khalik, Hossan Leong to push for division strategies so that we can get to 100% Vaccination rate. 

That is a new norm I must learn to accept... A divided country with 100% vaccination rate... and a high case count daily.

(U) that I am holding the economy back. I am super sorry that my comrades and myself implemented the lockdown last year together with 5.6 million other citizens. I am sorry that we held all four of you by the necks and kept rejecting your idea of reopening our borders. We didn't know we were doing that though we have yet to meet and spoken to any one of you. I am so sorry that I caused so many people to lose their jobs and become SDA, Return Tray Ambassadors or Swabbers. 

真的不好意思。We unvaccinated people have the power to shut down a country's economy. We just didn't know that.

(V) that I question why medical staff in other countries are choosing to leave the profession instead of getting the jab when it's mandated in their hospitals or clinics. They were the heroes last year, helming the frontline as we face the pandemic. 

But this year, they are so irresponsible. Why do they not want to take the jab? I bet it's because their supervisors are mean, and not because the jabs are toxic and they have seen enough casualties from taking the jabs. 

(W) that I said Covid is just another flu. Last year when MOH said 80% of the infected cases display mild to no symptoms, with symptoms similar to that of a common flu and we lockdown. Even my infected colleague said it's like a bad flu, that is all. I shouldn't have believed any of those, if not it will not be a pandemic and there will be no   reason for a lockdown. 

Covid of unexplained origins must be a pandemic so we can all get vaccinated and we can open up and get on with life and booster shots. I hope I got that right and didn't embarrass you, otherwise I have to do another apology post : (

(X) that I question the PCR test. I haven't gone through any PCR tests in my 30 plus years of living for any viruses within the coronavirus family. So please forgive me for questioning why it's the gold standard for our testing. I am naive and dumb. I should not trust the inventor of PCR. Neither should I believe that the EO on the sticks are actually cancer-causing in the long run. Our MMTF must already have the data and participants who went through daily testing for the past 1 year plus because all measures you implement must have been safe-checked by HSA.

I bet you know the breath tests designed and approved aren't accurate so therefore we should continue using the invasive PCR tests while special people higher up use the breath tests. We bet you care more about us, since we use GOLD standard testing, and they use SILVER standard breath testing and China uses BRONZE standard anal testing.

(Y) that I failed to understand the meaning of the word "voluntary". You said those who don't wanna take MRNA vaccines can wait for Novavax, and I waited for Sputnik : )  As the wait extends, my neck gets longer and my rights get stolen, I should accept that good things no longer come to those who wait

Instead, good things will be taken away from those who wait. Don't worry, I still trust in you and your implemented measures that my employers will only make things tough for me to make me go for the jab/ quit voluntarily and not terminate me because of my vaccination status.

(Z) that I am not taking my vaccine. But I think you will understand. I am saving my shot for those who need their booster shots. I want to play my part as a responsible and neighbour. Put others' interest before self. Our teachers and parents taught us that. 

Give more than you receive. 施比受更有福。 

I believe in building good karma.

Peace out. 

God bless all of us. 

Truth always prevails in the end.